Destined For The Lycan | Read Free Preview
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Chapter 1
I was confident that I could make Elijah happy. If I loved him hard enough, served him well enough, and became good enough, my sincerity may reach him and we would be happy together. As always, I was foolish. I couldn’t make a man who didn’t love me happy.
I may not be the woman he wanted but I thought I could be the woman he needed so I loved him harder. I wanted to make my mate happy but why was it so difficult?
‘The food has gone cold,’ my wolf whispered. ‘We should go to bed, Ri.’
‘How can I sleep when my mate isn’t home yet?’ I asked while stifling a yawn. ‘How would he feel if he returned to a silent house? I can wait a few more hours for him.’
It was past midnight but I knew how much Elijah hated returning to a silent or empty house so I waited for him. Because it was unusual for him to stay out so late, I couldn’t help but worry.
“Why isn’t he taking his calls?” I tried reaching him several times but he didn’t take my calls and never called back.
Hours later, the sound of keys jiggling jolted me awake. I’d fallen asleep at the dining while waiting for him. Wiping drool from my cheeks, I put on a radiant smile and went to greet my mate.
“Welcome, honey.” I greeted him at the door, taking his bag and jacket.
His presence alone brightened my world. Looking at him, the fatigue weighing me down eased off my shoulders and my wolf relaxed.
“You’re still awake.” His gaze slid past me, his tone dismissive. “You didn’t have to wait up for me.”
There was no warmth in his voice but I had been deluding myself for the entire five years of our relationship so I told myself that he cared about me. He cared about me and as a result, didn’t want me losing sleep for any reason.
“Elijah, you’re my mate.” My smile waned as he walked past me.
“What has that got to do with anything?” He asked without looking at me.
“We’re mates, so of course, I’ll wait up for you. The bed is cold and empty without you.” I hugged him from behind, inhaling his scent.
“You should have prepared a glass of water while you waited.” He pulled away. “I’m thirsty.”
As if a bucket of ice-cold water had been poured on my head, my back straightened and I stared at his retreating back in disbelief. Watching him walk away without a care in the world lit a spark of irritation in me and it spread through me like a fire that ignited anger. The fire torched the cosy feeling I got from being around him.
“Is that all you have to say to me?” I growled at him.
I was not a mate that nagged. My insecurities, my displeasures, my questions, I swallowed them all because I didn’t want to bother him but not tonight. After waiting for hours for him to get home, calling his line and worrying that something may have happened to him, this was all he had to say to me?
“Shouldn’t I know why you’re coming home so late? I called you a hundred times but you never picked up or even returned my calls. What’s wrong with you?” I almost shouted.
His gaze slid over to me causing a lump to settle in my throat. His eyes were cold, his face set in an apathetic mask. I could imagine all I said went into one ear and came out the other. There was no warmth, no care, not even concern, in the gaze that settled on me. There was no regard.
He ignored everything I said, merely giving me a disinterested look and then he turned again and walked away from me. I couldn’t let him go. It was unlike me to bother Elijah but the unease inside me was mounting. I wanted to see – no – I needed to see even a flicker of warmth, a smidge of concern, something that let me know that he at least cared.
“Even if you don’t love me,” I couldn’t keep the hurt from my voice. “Even if you don’t have any affection for me, I am still your mate. You should have some respect for me as your partner. All I have done is…” I started on a rant that couldn’t go far since he stopped me.
“Yes, I don’t love you.” His tone and expression seemed to ask me ‘Now what?’ “I have never loved you and will never love you. You knew this when you agreed to be my mate. This is merely a relationship of convenience so don’t get ahead of yourself.” My breath hitched at those words. “You’re my mate so you know I am the Alpha of this pack. I don’t have the time to deal with your emotional outburst. I’m tired.”
I don’t know what possessed me. Was it desperation or fear? I never found out but I grabbed his hand to stop him as he moved again.
“Why are you suddenly like this? I’ve done my best for you in the five years of our mating. What’s wrong? Did I upset you?”
He shook my hand off him like I carried a disease. His usual blank expression transformed to one of wrath, his eyes hard. He glared down at me like I was his –his enemy.
“Do you know how pathetic you sound right now?” He shouted at me. “You know I merely settled for you. I’ve let you enjoy the luxuries of being my Luna all these years. I never asked for your love so you can shove it and stop playing the victim! Continue to live like a mouse as you’ve always done!” His eyes were red, his wolf on the surface.
I was so aghast that I could only stare at him with my mouth agape as he climbed up the stairs with stiff shoulders and loud footsteps.
Five years. In the five years since Elijah and I mated, he had never raised his voice at me. He had never said a kind word but he never said a harsh word either. We lived as perfect strangers but he never once raised his voice at me or threw words at me.
Was this the beginning of the end or was it the end itself?
Minutes later, I pulled myself from my stupor and went to our bedroom. He wasn’t there. My heart turned heavy and my mouth bitter. He wasn’t in our room. I checked three other rooms before I found him in one of the guest rooms with the door locked.
“Elijah?” I called as I knocked. “Can I come in?” He was in there. I could feel him and perceive his scent but there was no response.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to nag at you,” I spoke with a thick voice, holding back tears. “I was just – just a little frustrated so can we talk? Please, open the door.” My words were met with silence that spoke volumes. I stood at the door for close to thirty minutes but there was no response. He didn’t come to open the door and he didn’t utter a word.
Sometimes, I felt ridiculous. Sometimes, I felt that none of what I did mattered to Elijah. I may as well be a high-functioning maid but as long as I was useful to him, as long as I could make life a little more comfortable for him, I felt he would come to appreciate me. Yet, so many years had passed and he continued to make me feel small. Small and alone
He never appreciated my efforts so why did I continue to try? How much longer would I continue to love such a heartless man? I was tired.
Chapter 2
The next morning, I woke up to an empty house. Even if our mating was one of convenience, my mate was too distant. I had dreamt of happiness, of warmth and friendship but rather than that, I got silence. A cold, biting silence. With a house that echoed and a mate whose gaze always slid past me like I was part of the furniture, the silence was crushing.
My ringtone shattered the silence around me. It was my mother calling.
“Hello?” I said in surprise.
“Where are you?” There was no warmth in that voice.
“Umm, I’m at home. Why?” I asked, wondering what I missed.
My mother never called me. Ever. Even when I called her, she hardly ever picked up.
“Didn’t Elijah tell you that Rosie is back?” She asked.
My heart plummeted, hard and cold, to my stomach that tightened. I lost feeling in my fingers and my phone slipped from my grasp and clattered to the ground. Those words stole my breath and for a few seconds, I forgot how to move my limbs.
“Hello? Hello!? Did this ungrateful bitch hang up on me?” I heard my mother shout from my device on the floor.
I moved, slow as a snail, trying to delay the inevitable as I picked up my phone and put it back to my ear.
“Why?” I whispered into the device.
Why!? Why!? Why!?
“What do you mean why?” Mother shouted. “Aren’t you happy that she returned to us safe and healthy? How selfish can you get? We picked you and raised you but you don’t even appreciate us as your family. You should be happy that your sister is back in one piece!”
“I – I am.” The words that came from my lips were a lie.
I was not happy at all. It made me feel like a villain but I wasn’t happy. No, I was terrified. Five years had passed so why did she return? Why now?
“Don’t lie to me.” I could almost picture my mother rolling her eyes. “You were always jealous of Rosie so how can you be glad that she’s back?”
“No!” I denied. “No, I wasn’t – I have never –“
“I raised you so I know how filthy your thoughts are. Rosie is prettier, funnier and more popular than you can ever dream to be. It’s as if you were created to live in her shadow. I know you’re jealous of her. You must be upset that she’s back.” She laughed as she cut me down, each word sending a knife into my chest.
I hated that she was right. I hated myself for being jealous and feeling inferior to my younger sister. I hated myself for wishing she never returned home.
What did this mean for me? What did this mean for my relationship with Elijah? Now that his first love had returned, would I be cast aside? The life I built for the last five years was on the verge of collapsing and I didn’t know what to do.
“Your sister is back. What are you going to do as the Luna?” My mother asked.
“What – am I supposed to do?” I asked.
“You’re so dumb, it’s a shame.” She hissed at me. “You stole her man so the least you can do is throw her a welcome back party. The Glenda Hall will be a good venue.”
“But –“ The dial tone sounded before I could get a word in.
I called Elijah immediately after that. I called him once, twice, five times. I hated to bother him but I was anxious so I kept calling. I kept calling but he never picked up. Instead, he turned off his phone. I had no choice but to go find him.
“What are you doing here?” A cold voice stopped me as I walked into the office building.
There he was. The love of my life. The man who I shared a bond with. There he was with a glare at me while a petite woman clung to his side.
“Ri, I’ve missed you!” The woman ran from his side and flung her hands around me, her little hands crushing me. “It’s been so long but you haven’t changed at all!”
Her words were a backhanded comment that I could not respond to. Elijah had a strange look in his eyes as he stared at us. When Rosie let me go, she went back to his side as if it was natural, her hand looping around his bicep.
“Were you in his office?” I asked.
It was not intentional. I didn’t mean to sound accusatory or on edge but I did. I wanted to calm my racing heart but I couldn’t. I was scared. Frightened that the sandcastle I had spent the last five years building would be washed away by the storm in front of me.
“Yes, I brought him lunch. We also discussed my welcome back party. I know you’re busy and I can’t ask you to throw it so mum has agreed to do it. Eli said we can use the Glenda Hall!” She was still the same, still an annoying chatterbox.
“You can’t use that hall,” I blurted.
“Why not?” She fluttered her lashes, her eyes laughing at me. “Eli said I could use it.”
The Glenda Hall was just that; a hall, but over time, it had become known as the Luna’s hall. For many years, the Lunas of this pack used it to throw parties for themselves and sometimes their daughters. It was totally outside the Alpha’s jurisdiction to grant anyone access to that hall.
“You need my permission to use it and I didn’t give it.”
“Eli gave his permission already. Doesn’t the word of the Alpha trump yours?”
“I –“
“Let her use the hall.” Before I could argue, Elijah’s cold tone interrupted me. “I agreed to it already so are you going to make me eat my words?” His eyes were fierce, his tone even fiercer.
I wanted to argue but I found that I hadn’t the energy for an argument. It was the first time I felt scared since I mated with Elijah. I had tried so hard to win his heart but maybe it was time to end my delusions before he bruised my heart even more.
**
I felt silly.
In a competition between Rosie and I, it was clear that I would always be the loser in Elijah’s eyes. Even with my resignation, I still wanted to try so I put on my best dress and accompanied him to Rosie’s welcome back ceremony.
My mate didn’t say a word to me throughout the car ride here and once we got in, he was gone from my side. My face burned with humiliation, my teeth tearing into my bottom lip to stop my lips from quivering as he abandoned me to be with Rosie.
Was love supposed to be this painful? Why did I have to beg for his love, the same love he gave freely to a woman who abandoned him? I wanted to stop loving him but I didn’t know how to. The last five years had been hell and the future didn’t look any brighter. I wanted to put an end to everything but I still found myself attached.
Loud laughter rang in the hall, drawing my attention. There he was, my mate who never smiled, my mate who never had a warm word or even a warm look for me, there he was gazing tenderly at Rosie as she laughed and joked with her old friends.
I’d grown used to his indifference, his empty stares and grunted words. I’d gotten used to the invisible wall that separated us and learnt to live with it but watching him look at another woman with the eyes that I wished he’d look at me with made my heart twist and ache.
He did not leave her side throughout that evening while I nursed a drink in the corner, bearing the weight of several mocking gazes. They seemed like the picture-perfect couple, him with a soft smile on his lips and her leaning into him.
“Oh, Luna, I didn’t see you there.” A woman with her mate bumped into me.
“Hello, Mitchell.” She was Rosie’s childhood friend so I knew that nothing good would come from interacting with her.
“Why are you standing alone in a corner? Shouldn’t you be with your mate?” Her mate snickered at her words. “Ah, with Rosie back, I guess we may be seeing some interesting changes soon.”
“Look at the way the Alpha looks at her,” her mate cut in. “There is so much love and tenderness in that gaze – oops.” Mitchell jabbed a hand into his side and he stopped with a sheepish grin. “Did I overstep?”
“No, you are right.” I agreed with them and moved away without having the time to savor their shocked gazes.
Tonight, everyone was focused on me. My reaction was what they came to check out and I didn’t want to give anyone the satisfaction of seeing me put down so I held my head high and walked towards my mate.
My brother blocked me before I got to him.
“It’s been a while, Reese.” My whole body clammed up just from looking at him but I continued to hold my head high. He was the Beta and I was the Luna. He should bow to me, not me to him.
“Don’t get in Rosie’s way,” he snapped “You’ve already taken too much from her so don’t bother her.”
“Are you asking me to allow my mate have an affair with my sister?” I could only laugh at Reese’s words, feeling hollow inside. “What did I ever take from her? I’m your sister too so why –“
Why did I have to beg to be loved? Why could I never be good enough?
“Don’t even try to play the victim here,” he hissed in my face. “Rosie returned after five years and I’d be damned if I don’t do everything in my power to ensure she never leaves again. If it’s Elijah she wants then she’ll get Elijah. He doesn’t even want you so why cling to him?”
Right. Why did I continue to chase after a man who made it clear he could never want me?
“One day,” I spoke with a dry throat. “One day, you’ll look back and regret how you’ve treated me. Every single one of you.”
“Nobody wants you so why don’t you do us all a favour and die rather than spitting rubbish? What a waste of my time.” He brushed passed me, making it a point to bump my shoulder as he went.
I lost my balance. There was a loud ringing in my ear before the world went black.
Chapter 3
I opened my eyes in a sterile white room. The room was cold and unwelcoming, and the smell of disinfectant was strong in the air.
“You’re awake.” I turned my head to the side to see Rosie sitting in the only chair in the room. “You dumb fucking bitch.” She shed the layers of nicety she always wore when around others.
“Rosie,” I swallowed thickly as her name felt bitter on my tongue. “What are you on about?”
My precious little sister. She ran off with a wealthy older man over five years ago, leaving behind a simple letter about finding love and that no one should look for her. We searched for her for a long time but her lover was quite meticulous in hiding her. Even Elijah, with his wide network, could not find her. Now, here she was in my hospital room, her blue eyes darkening as she gazed at me with eyes that spoke of deep hatred. It was as if I had been transported back in time to five years ago when all I could do was try not to cower as I gazed at this snake.
“You scheming bitch!” She flung the magazine she’d been reading. “How dare you mate with Elijah in my absence!?”
“I didn’t think I needed your permission to accept my mate’s proposal.” I sat up in bed. My sweet sister was dangerous so I couldn’t afford to be caught in an unfavourable position pending when she lost her marbles.
“Your mate?” She scoffed. “You’ve always coveted everything that belonged to me, from my family to my man. I’m supposed to be the Luna of this pack. You know Elijah loves me and you took my absence to snatch him away from me!”
“I didn’t do that.”
Although I felt frustrated to the point of pulling my hair, I desperately tried to maintain a false sense of calmness. One wrong line and Rosie could and would do something dangerous.
Five years had passed but the woman before me was the same girl I’d always known. A sneaky, two-faced, evil girl who took out all her frustrations on me. Someone whose superiority complex touched the sky and who could not rest until she made me feel terrible for simply existing.
“What did you do then?” Her eyes were red already, her temper short. “What the fuck did you do to become Eli’s mate? Tell me the fucking truth!”
“I didn’t do anything!” I shouted out of frustration. “You knew he loved you but you ran off with some rich guy. Did you even consider how miserable he would be? How can you be so selfish? Did you really think he would sit back for five years and wait for you to return from goddess knows where you have been?”
“Is that it?’ She took several threatening steps towards me and I had no choice but to get out of bed despite my vision wavering. I held onto the side of the bed and stood my ground. “So you took my absence as an opportunity to seduce him?”
“Elijah proposed to me. He chose me!” I emphasized. “I didn’t have to do anything because he came to me himself.”
“You knew I’d return but you didn’t think twice about stealing him from me!”
“How did I steal him? You ran off with another man!”
“I’d always return because Elijah is my destiny. Mine!”
“He was never yours. You abandoned him and now he’s my mate. I’m his Luna so I guess you have to deal with it.”
“This little bitch –“ She raised her hand at me.
It had been five years. Five years without having to worry about anyone raising a hand at me. Five years in which I thought I would never have to deal with Rosie and her temper tantrums anymore. Yet, five years later, she raised her hand at me and I froze. Once again, I was nothing but a little girl who had to deal with abuse for no reason. I hated it. I hated how I froze, raising my hands on instinct and protecting my head. I hated how I feared this woman. I hated myself for being this way.
The door opening saved me. I lowered my hands as fast as Rosie lowered hers.
“You’re funny, Ri.” She threw her head back as she laughed. “We’ll see won’t we, Luna?”
Her words were a clear threat. She was telling me to count my fucking days as the Luna of this pack. I wish I could say her threat didn’t faze me but it did. My mate was in love with her, after all.
“Luna, the doctor will be with you shortly.” The nurse had pity in her eyes.
It made me feel even more pathetic. I didn’t want to be pitied but I smiled anyway. Over the years, I had learnt to be generous, to be forgiving, to turn a blind eye to things I didn’t like because the world seemed out of my control. There was not much I could do and as the days passed, I found I could do less and less.
“Your stress levels have skyrocketed recently.” The doctor informed me. “Your heart rate and blood pressure are concerning and since you’ve collapsed once, we have to keep you here for at least twenty- four hours to monitor you.”
“No, I want – I want to go home. I can rest at home.” Hospitals made me uncomfortable so I could never rest well here.
“Not a chance.” He didn’t bat a lash. “The Alpha already has a lot on his plate. It won’t be good to add a fainting Luna to his plate.”
In the end, the doctor called my mate and they both agreed that it would be best for me to stay. The hospital held me for twenty-four hours and there was not a single call from my mate, no call from my family and no visit from either of them.
**
I was only twenty-five years old with a long life ahead of me. If I continued like this, how much longer would I live? Was there any chance that Elijah would love me? Would l continue to fight for his love?
When I got home the next day, the scent of food cooking permeated the entire house. It was too early for Elijah to be back so who was in my kitchen? My stomach growled, reminding me of my hunger. I walked to the kitchen and met Rosie in my kitchen wearing my apron.
“Oh, you’re back.” She greeted me with a flippant smile.
“What are you doing here?” My words were weak, tired.
“I’m making Eli’s favourite meal!”
I knew the minute he entered the kitchen. My wolf perked up and suddenly, the scent of the food on the stove faded away and all I could perceive was his mouthwatering scent.
“You’re back.”
These were the only words my mate had to say to me.
“Are you disappointed?” I asked with thinly veiled sarcasm.
“Not now.”
His lips turned down as he turned his gaze away from me. His eyes settled on Rosie who was playing the role of housewife. It was subtle, oh so subtle, but his lips turned up as he watched her move around.
“Spicy chilli?” He asked in a tone that was a lot calmer than what he used with me seconds ago.
“Yes, I know it’s your favourite,” Rosie said with a light laugh and a bright smile at him. “Ri, I hope you don’t mind that I’m here. Since you were hospitalized, Elijah agreed that it’ll be okay for me to move in and help with his meals. You’re glad I didn’t let your mate go hungry, right?”
“He hates spicy chilli,” I blurted. “He won’t eat it.”
Elijah didn’t care for spicy food. This was something I learnt within one month of being mated to him. He wasn’t a picky eater but I noticed that if I served anything even slightly spicy, he didn’t eat well.
“No, Eli loves it,” Rosie refuted. “Don’t you? You always ate well when I made it.”
“Yeah.” His tone was gruff. “I like the way you make it.”
“Eli, we need to talk,” I said.
At first, it looked like he would refuse but he nodded after a final glance at Rosie. The two of us left the kitchen and went to our room.
“Eli-“ I started but he didn’t let me finish.
“I’ve been thinking,” he said. “Do you want to go with me to the villa in the south? It will be good for you to get a break from what’s happening in the pack. The doctor said you collapsed because of stress.”
“R – really?” I stopped myself from gawking at him. “You want to go to the villa with me?” The villa where we spent our honeymoon? The same one I’d been begging him to take me back to for years now?
“Yes, didn’t you always talk about going? This is a perfect time to go. I’ll clear my schedule for the weekend.”
Despite not wanting to get my hopes up, knowing that Saturday was our five years anniversary, I couldn’t help it. Did he remember or was this a coincidence? Either way, it was a great opportunity to leave behind the madness in this pack and get closer to my mate. It was all I ever wanted so I beamed at him.
“Yes, that’ll be great!” I couldn’t help it as I launched myself at him, hugging him with a tight grip.
Elijah may be cold but I couldn’t say he didn’t care for me. He was taking a break for the first time in five years because of me. Even if he loved Rosie, the five years we spent together must mean something to him and this weekend, I’d try my best to make him look at me differently.
The next day, I went shopping with a grin on my face. Nothing could put me down, not even the whispers that followed me. On Friday evening, Elijah drove the two of us to the villa in the south facing a private beach.
“We are going to have so much fun!” I said to him as I hugged his bicep. “What should we do first? Do you want to –“
It was early evening and this part of the pack was silent and serene. The sound of a car approaching made me shut up. I thought I imagined it until I saw a familiar car pull up behind us. From inside the car came Rosie, my mother and then Reese.
Cold gripped me and the smile on my face fell. Then and there, I lost all reason.
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