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Chapter 1
*Trigger warning for this book. Murder and talk of sexual assault*
I stood in blackness, darker than anything I have seen or felt before, it pulsed through me. It was me.
My parent's bodies under my feet were twisted and bloodied, indicating a death that was anything but painless; I knew they fought back until the very end.
Blood was the only thing that I could smell; its thick tang coated the air, coated my hands. I knew they were there, but my head was clouded, my vision blurry from the moment I stumbled upon them.
Looking for them for solace, to help me, but it was too late, and I could do nothing to help them.
I fell to my knees, accepting my fate. I reached for their hands, still warm from the life that was just taken from them.
I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t feel.
I sat there waiting to die with them, wanting to die with them.
I had nothing to live for, no one else to live for. Everyone was gone.
I couldn’t feel anything, but the hollowness, the complete emptiness that shook me to my core.
Footsteps sounded, and I felt something that might have been relief. My nightmare would be ended, and I could rejoin my family and my pack in the next life alongside the Moon Goddess.
Strong arms pulled me off them, away from my parents.
I screamed for them, but I didn’t hear it; I only knew I did because my throat was on fire.
I kicked and fought whoever was taking me away with my last strength. They ripped me from the death that I didn’t want until tonight when everything I knew, everything I loved, was stolen away from me.
My knees ached as I was thrown onto the cold ground. Senses that felt numb and far away.
“Here she is, Alpha. In one piece as you requested.” A cold hand pulled my hair back, baring my face to him.
“Good, keep her that way,” I swayed even on my knees. The last thing I remembered was his cruel blue eyes, devoid of any emotion except a flicker of amusement at my suffering.
The hollowness in me burst into flames and turned into raging, unshakable hate that was too soon quelled by the darkness I slipped into.
Four years Later
“Aren’t you looking lovely? Is that for me, because you shouldn’t have?” Dominick leaned against the large entryway attempting to block my way, I tried to brush past him, but Hunter showed up right behind him.
“Going somewhere? Hunter leaned against the other side, a dangerous glimmer dancing in his cold blue eyes, “We wanted to have a closer look at what will be ours in a few short weeks. Oblige us, won't you?” He reached out to touch me but pulled back at the last second, I fought a smirk, looking to my feet instead.
Were they not sick of hearing their idle threats? They couldn’t touch me anyways, not until I was eighteen. Commanded by their father, their Alpha, an Alpha who would never be mine.
Hunter kicked off the wall and stepped towards me; Dominick followed him. Dominick might have been older, but Hunter was by far the cruelest and the most wicked of the three brothers.
They both got their dad's light brown hair, dull, and lifeless, like them.
They started circling me slowly, like animals that had already caught their prey and were just toying with it now. I knew how this would go, how it always went, and I settled into my character effortlessly.
“In just a few months-,” Hunter chuckled.
“A few weeks, actually,” Dominick cut in his brown eyes roving over my body, Hunter nodded in approval.
“A few weeks, and then you belong to us. Play coy all you want. It will just make it more fun when I take you,” He took a step closer to me although he couldn’t touch me his hot, wet breath could.
It fanned over my neck and made me shudder against my will. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction, “Over and over again, you’ll be locked in my room nothing but an Alpha’s w.hore. I hope you fight it; it will be that much more fun to break you.”
“Who said that it will be you?” Nolan, the youngest, strolled in, looking bored assessing the situation. He was the only one that got their mother's sandy blonde hair, or what I assumed was her natural color under all that bleach blonde.
“It’s not going to be you anyways.” Dominick scoffed, barely taking notice of his younger brother, who was never a threat to him
Nolan crossed his arms and watched, “Whoever gets her, let's just all take a turn with her,” he suggested, not even looking at me, always the peacemaker.
“I’m not sharing,” Hunter growled. To be fair, it probably would be him that would become the Alpha.
They did things differently here at Black River, now Blood River. I couldn’t stomach even thinking about part of the name that they stole from my pack, Blood Moon. Here the title wasn’t inherited by the oldest, the Alpha’s sons fought for the title. Nothing was more important than a strong bloodline to them.
Which is why I was here. Alive. The last living direct line of the great, unbroken, and ancient Blood Moon pack. The word ancient now had a new meaning, I was the last living pack member.
I would be the next Alpha’s breeder, not Luna, never Luna, never a position of power. I would produce heirs with a strong bloodline, and they would compete with whatever heirs were born from their mate or chosen Luna for the next title.
No one even bothered to think what their actual Luna would think of this, and no one cared. She would accept it if she wanted to become Luna, and if she didn’t, then they would find another suitable alternative.
“I want to be the one to break her in,” Dominick shrugged, “Once I’m done with that, I might let you guys take a turn just to see what you’re missing. That is if you live long enough.” He chuckled darkly.
There was a chance that not all of them would survive to see who was crowned the next Alpha. The fewer of them to deal with, the better.
“Our father said that he would let us be there for your first shift. Did you know that?” Hunter stopped in front of me. I didn’t. I fought the look of confusion in my eyes and tried to keep them blank, scared.
“Just to see if you are actually one of our mates,” He went on. I doubted The Moon Goddess hated me that much, “But that’s not why we’re coming, of course, mate or not, you’ll belong to the next Alpha.” He curled a side of his mouth in a smile that told me he thought it would be him.
“We’re coming to see you strip bare in front of us.” My heart caught in my throat; the thought of them, of the Alpha, seeing me like that made me shake.
“Now, now, don’t be nervous,” Dominick stepped up and bent to my ear, “We won’t f.uck you that night. That honor is saved for the heir.” He stepped back and crossed his arms, studying my face, “But dad did mention that we could touch.” I swallowed, I didn’t have to pretend to be scared anymore.
This was happening too soon. I thought I had more time, not just a few weeks. I wasted too much d.amn time preparing and took no action.
“Stop acting shocked,” Hunter had a mad glint in his eye that always unnerved me, I could deal with anger and cruelty, but unchecked madness, that was unpredictable, “You knew since the moment you arrived here you were to be nothing but an Alpha’s breeding w.hore. I’m surprised you haven’t been practicing.”
“I wouldn’t want used goods,” Dominick scoffed at his younger brother. I stood there, arms at my side, looking downcast. I learned early on they would get bored sooner if I didn’t react, didn’t give them anything that they wanted besides scared submissive.
“Mom wants us at the front; the visiting Alpha is early.” Nolan cut in, and Hunter shot him a glare that promised death. He was a cat that wasn’t done playing with his mouse.
A plaything that was all I was reduced to, something to torment out of boredom or to try to get a reaction. I noted my anger at that thought and locked it away for later when it would be useful.
“You should get dressed,” Hunter crooned, “Wear something pretty for me, something fit for my chosen whore.” Dominick laughed and turned on his heel, following Hunter out the way they came.
Nolan gave me a wary glance, and I was left there alone. I let my shoulders sag for a split second under the weight of their words before I straightened myself up and headed to my room. I was an Alpha’s daughter, after all, and that's who I still was even if I had no pack.
Chapter 2
I stopped by the kitchen, where it was a bustle of activity.
“Miss Simone, can I help you with something?” The head omega, Amelia, wiped her hands on her apron and offered me a genuine smile.
The omega’s here always treated me kindly and respected the station I once held, now reduced to nothing besides my powerful bloodline.
I shook my head, “I don’t want to be any trouble, I just came for a snack.” She nodded and let me pass. I knew where everything was here; this place has become my refuge since I was allowed out of my room.
This kitchen was the only place that I felt remotely comfortable in since I lost my home. I craved the warmth of the place and the constant activity that helped to distract me from those thoughts and memories that replayed themselves in my mind whenever I had a moment of solitude.
I went right toward what I was looking for. I knew this kitchen and the rest of the castle well from hours spent wandering alone. I made to pick up an apple slice covered in cinnamon and sugar that was destined for a pie, earning me a playful scowl from the omega closest to me. A small innocent distraction to take what I needed; I skillfully slipped what I came for into my pocket unnoticed.
The weight felt heavy but warm against the fabric of my leg, like a promise I made to myself finally solidifying.
I trudged back to my rooms; the packhouse was old and drafty. The majority of it was made from stone, and it reminded me of a castle, a dreary, depressing castle.
The first Alpha that took these sacred lands made the house and now stood homage to how long their line had ruled over their stolen grounds.
Thick rugs covered every stone floor, and fireplaces were present in every room to heat it against the biting cold, cold enough that werewolves needed shelter and warmth against the winters here.
The updated part of the packhouse, a recent extension, was made of dark wood and glass. It was too modern for the rest of the place, and it stuck out as a mismatched afterthought, but Luna Addison insisted.
The ranked members and their families moved into the new construction that was almost completed almost as soon as I arrived. They held smaller events there and guest rooms for the most important visitors.
The omega’s quarters, head warriors, and additional guest rooms stayed in a part of the original pack house, along with me.
It was still used for dinner most nights and larger gatherings and events. I didn’t understand the purpose of the remodel, but I didn’t care enough to ask.
The privilege of dining with the family was bestowed on me last year when they were certain I was one of their pawns. Only a few months ago was I allowed to join other events that didn’t include the immediate family. To prime me for one of the son’s beds so that I would be less of a feral rogue and more of an obedient lady, I could only assume.
I heard Alpha Raymond joke to Luna Addison that I was finally house-trained and no longer a mutt. She took it as a compliment as she was in charge of my initial berating, she didn’t much like a stray dog being taken into her pack, and she never let me forget it.
Once they trusted me enough not to try to run, I was allowed out of my room that they locked me in the night they took me. It took over a year for them to trust me, and in that year, my grief, loneliness, and anger were my only friends.
The omegas were switched out frequently, so I could never form a bond with them, or more importantly, them with me.
Once they saw how broken and fragile I was, I was allowed to wander these ancient halls.
Now, years later, the picture of the submissive, shattered, dead Alpha’s daughter, they knew I wouldn’t leave and didn’t pay me much thought unless they were bored.
Even though my room was close to the new addition, closer even than I would have been to them if they stayed in the original Alpha’s suites, It still made me feel better knowing I was in a different part of the house from them, sleeping under a different roof than those monsters.
I shut the door behind me, making sure it was locked before removing the thick faded rug closest to the foot of my bed and prying back a small loose stone, barely larger than my fist. It took me much longer than I cared to admit to hollow out this space.
There were too many prying eyes, too many people that had access to this room. I hadn’t risked hiding anything here permanently.
I dug around until my fingers brushed the only thing I kept there and pulled it out. The stone was cool in my hands, but it thrummed with promise like it was waiting for me to be ready to use it all this time.
I walked on silent feet to the door listening and waiting. Once I was certain no one was coming, I went to my bathroom and turned on the water in the tub, and took a spot near the door of the bathroom, one eye on the shadows I memorized under my bedroom door.
The churning water drowned out any soft sound, but that meant I had to rely on my eyes only.
I worked as fast as possible while still being thorough; once I was pleased with my work, I stashed everything and covered it again, triple checking it, before unlocking my door.
I sunk into the bath that was barely warm and scrubbed myself mindlessly, replaying in my mind my plan, the lullaby that drifted me off to sleep, my mantra that woke me up in the morning, the only thing keeping me here. My plan.
Soft feet sounded on the carpet in my room, but I didn’t move. I knew who they belonged to.
“Miss, it's almost dinner time, and you’re expected.” I reluctantly sat up in the bath and dragged myself out, hugging my shoulders inward as Alice, one of my favorite omegas, draped a towel over my shoulders.
“Thanks,” I nodded to her, my eyes distant.
“I laid out a dress for you, the one that you like.” I looked at the bed and saw that light purple floor-length dress with long sleeves made out of some velvet material. F.ucking hideous, and it fit all wrong hanging off me. I absolutely loved it for this version of me.
I gave her a timid smile and nodded my thanks.
After I was dressed, she brushed my hair in front of the fire. I always tensed when she did this, it felt so wrong. She probably took it as a side effect of my constant fear, and I let her.
She tried again in vain to curl some of my pin-straight hair, but it wouldn’t hold. Alice was sweet but not the brightest. How many times have we tried the same thing?
She looked flustered when she finally set down the curling rod and swept some hair off my face pining it back.
Even as a child, I don’t remember omegas helping me prepare for dinner. This seemed excessive, decadent, like something from a time long since passed. I wasn’t sure if anyone else got this level of help or if they deemed it necessary for a person in my delicate state.
“Thank you, Alice.” I gave her a small smile at my appearance.
My skin had grown paler than normal these past years, and even though my home pack was neighboring this one, I used to get outside daily. A luxury that I didn’t feel the need to take advantage of here.
It didn’t matter that I wasn’t drowning in my grief anymore, that I had found a purpose. I was still a shell of who I used to be.
My black hair hung almost to my waist now, and my once bright gray eyes were filled with a sort of sadness, of knowing, that I didn’t have to fake. It seemed that my eyes carried the weight of what happened, and I couldn’t even will them to look anything but depleted.
“They want you to come down.” Alice pulled me from my thoughts.
I stood up and grabbed a bunch of the ugly purple dress and let her open the door for me before letting the dress drag behind me down the stairs.
The dining room was quiet, not what I expected when they had guests. I took the final steps into the open doorway, no one looked at me.
Good. It was just the immediate family here so far, and I went to take my regular seat next to Luna Addison.
The Alpha sat at the head, his three sons to his right and his Luna and me to his left. It wasn’t an honorary position as usually there weren’t any others joining us, and I was just there to listen to their odious conversations and pick out whatever I could that I deemed useful.
“No,” Luna Addison waved me away and shot her husband an exasperated look, “You sit at the end. We have guests today.” She rolled her eyes and swatted my hand away from the back of the chair. I pulled it back quickly after her ring-encrusted hand made contact with mine.
I fought the scowl and chose a hurt look, taking my hand in the other, nursing it.
“I’m sorry, I thought-”
“You’re not used to events, are you?” She looked at me with mocking sympathy, “You were so young when your parents died.” She said as if it wasn’t her mate that was responsible for killing them.
I stared at her blankly.
“Move.” She pointed, and then her eyes darted behind me, “Ah, Alpha Ben, Beta, come come we have had our omegas slaving away all day for you. You must be starving.” She whisked past me, and I moved to the end of the table unnoticed.
The food might have been good, but I wasn’t paying attention. The visiting Alpha from a newly established nearby pack was whispering to Alpha Raymond.
I stole a glance, and he looked confused. I waited a moment before stealing another glance, and now he looked furious, his fist clenched around his fork. I let myself take a long bite pretending to contemplate my food. My last look at him, now he was pale, his eyes wide.
“What is it?” Hunter asked his dad, bored, twirling his steak knife on the table. I wasn't the only one that noticed.
“Remember how at the end of last year we had the Red Ridge Beta visit from the North?” He slowly started.
I remembered him. He was older and never took a mate. He was bragging that night that he had a young pack member waiting in his room for him, so he couldn’t stay. He went on about how he forced the girl to reject her mate, or he would kill her mate in front of her.
The entire night I thought of the poor girl sitting in this monster's room, heartbroken and scared, knowing what was to come when this Beta returned. Taken against her will by the man that she probably hated most in the world.
Call it sympathy, call it practice, it didn’t matter in the end - the outcome was the same.
“The one that never made it home after he left us?” The Alpha Raymond went on; I caught a few nods out of the corner of my eye.
“People have been going missing, running away, whatever for a while. This isn’t news,” Hunter waved his arm, “What’s the point?”
I took another bite of my food, the only one that was showing any interest in anything that wasn’t the Alpha’s story.
“Well, Alpha Ben just informed me that he uh..”
“Spit it out, Father.” Hunter looked bored, I didn’t look, but I could picture the face that Alpha Raymond must be making at his middle son. At his son's brashness and lack of respect.
“Parts of his body have been found washing up on their river bank.” I dropped my fork and reached for it quickly, looking at my food, my face hopefully pale.
“How do you know it was him?” Dominick asked. A good question.
“This happened weeks ago, son.” The visiting Alpha spoke directly to him, “We had time to match dental records; he was past recognition.” I set down my fork and dared to look at the ranked members.
A mixture of confusion and shock passed on their faces in varying degrees, everything I already saw on the Alpha’s face.
“It wasn’t an accident.” The Alpha’s son, whose name I didn’t know, chimed in. He leaned over towards Hunter, Dominick, and Nolan and sloshed his glass of wine, studying them with a wicked smile.
Hunter looked bored, Dominick sized him up as an opponent, and Nolan, well, Nolan just looked like he wanted to leave.
“We pieced that together,” Dominick leaned towards him. Oh, this might be a fun evening after all, “But did you figure out who did it? You said you had the body for days.”
The visiting Alpha’s son looked taken aback for a moment, “We haven’t been investigating, really. Who is he to us?” I couldn’t tell if it was the truth or not. His dad placed a hand over his son’s chest, and he stopped immediately.
No one missed Hunter's dark smile at the visiting Alpha's son's subordination to his father.
I picked back up my fork again and tried to take a few bites, but my stomach protested against it. I was only able to force a few bites down the entire rest of the meal.
“Not eating?” The visiting Alphas son said, “Not eating?” He repeated loudly, and everyone went quiet. I moved my gaze toward him and found him staring at me from a few seats down.
“M-Me?” I looked up under my lashes, not expecting to be addressed by him.
“Yes, you.” He held up his empty wine glass and shook it at an omega.
“Oh, I’m not that hungry.” I hoped he would stop talking to me. Please stop talking to me. I clenched the skirt of my dress.
“Hmm,” I could feel his eyes on me, “Why not?”
“I was thinking about the Beta that went missing,” I answered honestly, turning slightly toward the head of the table, “I’m just scared now, If it wasn’t an accident, what could be out there?”
Alpha Raymond seemed satisfied with my answer, but I couldn’t tell why. He sat back in his seat and nodded, “All the more reason for you not to venture out.” Oh, that was it. Was he still worried I would leave?
“Y-yes, Alpha. You’re right.” I bowed my head to him, a move that made my skin crawl every time I did it.
“We’re safe here; one idiot Beta dying on the road, probably at the hands of rogues, means nothing to me.” He went on. I studied my hands as I heard a few cheers and a clink of glasses.
I stayed until the end before excusing myself due to exhaustion. Everyone was still there drinking too much to be of any use, besides the visiting Alpha’s son, who left without excusing himself before dessert ended.
I gripped the entryway before pushing myself out and saying my goodbyes. I looked like I had too much wine, too much terror for one night.
I was craving my bed, that dinner was draining for so many reasons. I rounded the corner to take the stairs when I heard a muffled voice.
“No, please stop it, I swear p-please I have a mate.”
“I don’t see a mark.” A familiar voice that I didn’t immediately place responded lowly. The voice made a chill run down my spine.
Chapter 3
“He will reject me, please; there will be so many omegas that would want to sleep with you.” The words were clearer as I inched closer, I could smell her fear; she knew that no one was coming for her. I knew that feeling all too well.
“But I want you,” That boy crooned, “And I always get what I want," He growled.
I took a few more steps until I was around the corner facing the alcove where he had her.
“Now,” He carried on, his voice made me shudder, “Turn around and pull up your dress for a future Alpha, or will I have to do it for you.”
I took a few loud steps, and they both stared at me, the omega with tears streaming down her face. Young, I didn’t know her name actually, and the visiting Alpha’s son, whose name I never wanted to know, stared back at me.
The Alpha's son gave me a lazy grin but didn’t loosen his grip on the terrified girl.
“Oh, I was just going to my room. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” I looked away from them, ashamed of what I walked in on.
I took a risk and made to move a step away, “Wait.” I smiled internally, “Why don’t you join us for some fun?”
I looked behind my shoulder and bit my thumb, “The Alpha has strict rules about his omegas and respects the mate bond here. I wouldn’t break them if I were you.” I said with shaken confidence.
“And you? What rules does he have for you?” He smiled but released his grip on the shaking omega.
I shook my head, “I don’t know.” My shoulders sagged, and he studied me before finally releasing his prey.
He took a few steps toward me, and I flinched.
“I will have my fun tonight.” He took my chin in his fingers and gripped it, I fought it for a second before relaxing into his grip, I couldn’t have a bruise; that was the last thing I needed to show up tomorrow.
I swallowed perceptibly, he leaned closer to my face, and I flinched. He paused for a second which felt like hours, before I felt his tongue against the side of my cheek. I recoiled, but he held my chin in place as he licked the side of my face. Every part of me turned inwards at his possessive, demeaning touch.
I was blatantly reminded that the touching ban only applied to his sons. I was actually shocked into silence for the first time in a while.
“I’ll be seeing you later.” He said with such confidence, my eyes drifted to my room above us, “A door won't keep me out, and you, you are nothing.” He shrugged, watching my gaze.
“Wh-where are you staying?” I forced out.
“Does it matter?” He sauntered away, his hands in his pockets, and once he turned the corner I sagged into the cool stone wall.
I turned to look for the omega, but she was long gone. Good. I hoped she had enough sense to warm the others, and every other girl in this place stayed out of the way for the next few hours.
Fuck this. My careful plans were thrown out the window.
I took a breath and stood straight before taking a detour to a place I knew would be deserted and unguarded this time of night. The head omega’s office in the new wing. I had to check something.
I took my time undressing, waiting until Alice came in. She helped me brush out my hair after I got in my nightgown.
As soon as she left, I let out a breath I was holding the entire time. I threw back the rug and grabbed what I stashed from the compartment.
This was supposed to be for later, I didn’t want to waste one of my chances yet, but I had to.
Once most of the omegas passed to their quarters, I locked my door and changed, braiding my hair as tight as possible to keep it out of my face, hoping it was tight enough that no strands would be left behind.
I waited a bit longer just to be sure everyone was in their rooms before propping open my window that lead to a small balcony that was more of a ledge. I never understood ornamental balconies, ones that were more for show than for use, but it worked for my purpose.
I gripped the stone walls and settled myself into a forgotten place I used to go to when I trained. Focusing on instincts, on survival above all else. Part of me still remembered it, even if it was a ghost of the place I used to be able to reach during trainings.
I landed on the soft grass looking back to my window that barely looked cracked, not like it mattered much; I had committed to this now.
I took my position between two hedges in the garden, a focal point I mapped out months before. It was well hidden but had an uninterrupted view of most of the packhouse and the entirety of the glass addition.
The garden was never monitored and was rarely ever guarded. They kept their warriors further out to focus on potential outside threats. My lips curled into a smile at the thought.
I waited until the lights went off one by one in the other's rooms. I clenched my fingers and moved my legs to keep my blood flowing. The adrenaline pumping through me kept me warm against the biting cold.
A light flicked back on, and I shifted from foot to foot, ready to move as soon as I saw movement in the hall window.
There were too many windows there, and at night with the lights on, everything was visible to those outside. They had to know, had to know the vulnerable position it would put them in. But they thought there were no threats that could get to them, no one that could get close to the packhouse without them knowing, without their permission.
They were lulled into a complacency that I was happy to shake them from.
I squinted to confirm that the flash of movement I saw was the person I was looking for. I scanned the short distance between where I stood at the side door that would lead me to the chosen spot.
Satisfied with the quiet blanketed around me; I rushed to the door and listened before opening it and slipping in right where the old and new packhouse met. I turned toward the old packhouse where I knew an alcove was waiting for me, and I let myself sink into the shadows watching the spot where he would come.
My heart beat through my ears, and I focused on the steady beating to help calm me and ground me to this place. I knew what I had to do, my body knew the movements; I couldn't overthink it.
Footsteps sounded on the carpeted stairs as he sauntered down, not bothering to be quiet. A man that knew that he was untouchable, a man that would take what he wanted because he thought it was owed to him.
I let him walk a few steps closer before slipping out and blocking his way. He stepped back, surprised for a second, before giving me a smirk that told me he thought he got me right where he wanted me.
“Looking for me?” I took a step forward, and before he could open his mouth, I was in front of him. Two quick simultaneous movements, a slice to the windpipe and jugular, and he was crumpled beneath me, his blood pooling out on the white carpet.
He let out one last gush of air, and that smirk was wiped off his face. Never again would he give that smirk to a woman.
I looked down at my blood-splattered hands. Fuck.
I should have snuck up once he passed me, but I wanted him to know it was me. I wanted to see his face when I did it. Possibly a grave error on my part but not one I could dwell on.
I tucked the knives I stole from the kitchen and sharped this afternoon back into their makeshift sheaths on my belt.
I debated returning them to the kitchen now, I wanted no evidence left, but I couldn’t risk running into anyone like this. I ensured there was no blood on the bottom of my shoes as I slipped away back through where I came from.
The short distance back to my room looked like miles now. My heart was erratic as I stuck to the side of the house. Almost there, almost to where I could start scaling the wall back to my room.
A muffled scream. Shit. Someone already found him?
I couldn’t scale the wall couldn’t risk being caught in such an obvious position, when the warriors were called - and they probably already were. I ran the last few steps to the door that I never planned on using and reminded myself to shut it behind me quietly.
Thankfully, this one led to the stairs, the winding staircase where my room was just three floors above.
I started walking, too slowly my brain was shouting, but I couldn’t risk going faster while still staying quiet.
I reached the first landing of the ancient spiral staircase and paused for a moment. I knew it would probably be quiet as these were guest rooms, and it was.
I repeated my movements until I got to the next one. Just one more flight and a hallway separated me from my room.
This time I heard the rustling of feet, a lot of feet. I wasn't surprised; some of the head warriors stayed on this floor, and they would be the first to be alerted.
I pinned myself against the wall out of sight, unless anyone decided to use this stairway. This wasn't the staircase that would be the quickest for them, but if they were smart, they would cover all their bases and not rush to the already dead body.
A few last feet shouting orders ran past the landing. Thankfully, no one turned down this way. Idiots.
I rushed up the stairs quicker, this time to my floor that I shared with some of the omega's that didn't have their own cottages.
Their hushed voices sounded louder until I could make them out. Some walked past, and some just seemed to cluster in the hallway. The last thing I needed. A flicker of rage shot through me, but I wasn’t sure why. I clenched my fist, willing them to go back to their rooms. Of course, they didn't.
“We have to go down to support the ranked members.”
“What happened?”
“I’m scared, I don’t want to go.”
They didn't seem to be in any rush to actually go assist their ranked members. Move move move, I pleaded silently to them, but they didn't listen.
I had no other option, I was already behind on time, and I knew it was mere moments before one of them would come knocking on my door.
I turned around and walked re-traced my steps as fast as I could to the only window I could squeeze out of between the two floors.
The window groaned and creaked as I forced it open. I hauled myself up and through it after ensuring the outside was clear. Most of the warriors were hopefully distracted with the body for a few minutes more.
That's all I needed, a few minutes.
I closed the window behind me, hanging from the ledge, my muscles burning with the effort. I reached my foot out until I found the purchase of stones that jutted out around the spiraling tower that held the stairs.
I could see my window, my salvation. I grabbed onto ivy, but I didn’t trust it. I found some crevices in the old stone, and slowly made my way across. One foot found a space, one hand grabbed onto a cracked, solid stone.
Just a few feet up and then a few feet to the left, I was almost there. I paused every few seconds to listen if anyone was coming beneath, not that it would be any use. If I were caught out here, I would be worse than dead.
I finally made it to my small balcony. I laid my cheek against the freezing stone for a split second, cooling down the heat that coursed through me. A second was all I could spare for a moment of relief.
I mustered the last of my remaining strength to pull myself from the ledge through my window. If I lingered any longer and lost any ounce of adrenaline, I wouldn't have the strength.
I landed with a thud, and I froze on the floor, letting my eyes adjust to this new kind of darkness. It was quiet.
I pushed myself off the floor, wasting no time peeling off my clothes that were drenched with sweat.
They smelled awful, a mix of blood and sweat, but I wouldn't have time for a shower. I threw them in the dying fire, it shot to life at the ammunition. The fire warmed my back as I unwillingly stashed the bloodied knives. I had no time to get rid of them tonight or even clean them.
I splashed my face with water, not daring to even look in the mirror as I went to work scrubbing my hands and face multiple times.
I was stupid to get this much blood on me, it was already dried from the extra time it took me to get back here. I scrubbed my hands raw with anger at myself.
I finally looked in the mirror to make sure there weren't any lingering drops that I missed.
Something about my appearance made me pause. The forgotten glimmer in my eye flickered back to life. I smiled at myself as I pulled my hair from its braid and let it fall around me, checking for any debris stuck in it.
As I pulled on the nightgown I was wearing earlier, I glanced at the fire; thankful that my clothes were already turned to ash, I put another log on top of it. Scanning the room again for anything, I missed anything out of place.
The window, I bounded towards it to close it against the cold before unlocking the door.
The adrenaline and anxiety of tonight mixed with my excitement and relief that it was over. It felt like lightning was coursing through my veins.
I rushed to the bed and tucked myself in, rumpling the sheets. I turned to face the door.
I couldn't help it.
I couldn't not remember the last time I came here, to this very bed, covered in blood. Last time, I didn’t bother to wash it off for days.
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