When I told my ex I was going to have the baby. "You're still going to have it?" he spat out the words. I nodded. "You! Brazen little bitch!" He pounced without warning, slamming me onto the ground. He crouched over me, feet planted at either side of my hips....
Chapter 1 A Bolt From The Blue
Double lines. Positive.
I tried crushing the pregnancy test with my foot. I even threw it in the trash.
But it couldn't erase the horrible fact that I was PREGNANT from my brain.
I looked at the picture of the 18th birthday I had just celebrated. My secret-boyfriend Joseph and I had taken sweet selfies, but those pictures now looked a little distorted.
Unlocking the screen, I checked once more for a reply from Joseph. Only my own message stared back at me. Just like every time I’d checked before.
The double checkmarks proved he read the message, but he hadn’t replied.
I tried again. And again. Eventually, he stopped reading them.
Lightning flashed outside. But I needed to know what Joseph thought. Now.
I flew down the stairwell, and out the side door into the rain.
I had no one else I could talk to. As werewolves, our inner wolf doesn't show up until we're 19.
I loved dance. I practiced so hard, and I was good at it. That's why I enrolled in Lunarhaven Academy, the best private elite school in the kingdom, as a cheerleader.
Was I going to have to give it up? But then what would happened to me? Would I have to drop out from the Academy?
My family never had time for me. My parents only wanted to hear from me when I achieved something.
I could never tell my oldest sister, the perfect and beautiful Luna. The family’s favorite. If I confided in her, she’d tell Mom in a second.
My older brother Dylan was the one I felt closest to, but he was overprotective. If he knew, he’d probably be on the first flight home from Silvermoon Academy, where he was spending a semester as an exchange student.
Joseph had to answer.
As a star soccer player, Joseph lived in one of the separate athlete’s dormitories. Rather than the single bed, shared bathroom dorms where I stayed, these were elaborate villas. Each room had their own kitchenette and personal bathroom.
Each athlete was seen as elite. They were popular on campus, even with the faculty and staff. With that popularity came privilege and preference. Fancy dorms were only the start of the gifts they received.
I had always been proud of Joseph for all that his soccer skills helped him achieve. He was someone Mom would adore.
Now I cursed it a little, if only because a superintendent stopped me just inside the front door. Nearby I heard the bass of loud music and distant laughter.
“Please,” I said. “Where is Joseph?”
The superintendent wasn’t much taller than me, but the way she sneered down her nose at me made me feel small.
“Joseph is in his room,” the superintendent said. “He asked not to be disturbed.”
“It’s important –”
“It’s getting late, isn’t it?” The superintendent crossed her arms. “Shouldn’t you be returning to your own dorm?”
Movement shifted at the edge of my vision. I glanced down the hall and saw a tall, handsome man storm toward me.
I would recognize that dark, windswept hair and piercing gaze anywhere.
Asher. My brother’s best friend. One of the very last people I’d hoped to see.
If he discovered I was pregnant, undoubtedly he would tell Dylan. I was no way ready for that to happen. Especially not before I spoke to Joseph.
Asher’s intense eyes weighed heavy on me, taking in my full person, head to toe. When he looked back to my face, those eyes darkened further. This hint of anger was the only emotion on his perfect, blank slate of a face.
I knew Asher didn’t like me. I’d met him several times with Dylan, and each time he’d only given one word responses to my attempts at friendly conversation.
He never once returned my smile. Actually, I’d never seen him smile at all.
Inching backwards, I told the superintendent, “Maybe I can come back tomorrow…”
Too slow.
Asher stopped at our side. Eyes fixed on me, he told the superintendent, “I can take care of this.”
With the superintendent gone, I did the only thing I could think to do to protect my secret. I turned and ran.
I’d been to this dorm a few times, always under the cover of night. Joseph never wanted anyone to know I was visiting him. Because of the secrecy, I knew the way to the stairwell that led to his floor.
I only made it a few steps before Asher blocked my path. Captain of the hockey team, Asher daily trained for muscle mass and speed. Plus, as the son of an Alpha, he was naturally gifted.
I should have known I wouldn’t make it far, but my panic had overridden my judgement. Now I felt both panic and shame.
Asher continued to stare. Still clutching my phone, I instinctively wrapped my arms around my waist to hide my still-flat belly. Asher likely saw that too, but overwhelmed, I couldn’t bring myself to lower my arms.
With my downward gaze, I watched as his hands formed fists. Then, he reached beside me and opened a door.
I blinked up at him.
“In here,” he commanded. No room for argument.
I slinked inside, stopping at the center of the spacious dorm room. Asher entered behind me and closed the door. He stayed there, just inside the doorway.
“Cynthia, why are you here?” Asher asked.
“It's not your business.”
“What could possibly be so important that you need to come here in a stormy day?” he asked.
Turning to face him, I lifted my chin, defiant. Inside, my heart pounded. My hands would shake if I wasn’t clutching my waist so hard.
The silence stretched as he watched me. I felt like an ant under a microscope.
Suddenly he frowned, just a bit at the corners of his mouth, and turned toward the bathroom. He returned an instant later holding a towel. He held it out toward me.
At that moment, I shivered. Adrenaline had gotten me this far, but now I realized how cold I was. And how wet.
Looking down, my white shirt had become translucent against me, hugging my cleavage like a second skin. I hadn’t even thought to put on a bra before I left my room, let alone a jacket. The curves of my breasts, including my nipples hardened from the cold, were on full display.
Asher had looked. He had seen.
I snatched the towel from Asher and held it protectively over myself. Heat flared in my cheeks. “W-Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Don’t worry,” he said with a tiny shrug. “You aren’t my type.”
“Y-you--!”
“I’ve already forgotten it.” His hooded gaze dropped to where the towel covered me, then away. Voice sharp, he said, “You won’t go unless you tell me why you're here.”
Who was he to give me orders?
His breath was hot on my ear. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on? Or do I need to guess?”
His gaze bore into mine like he could see straight through me.
Dread clawed at my chest.
"I need to see Joseph." I compromised.
Chapter 2 Caught In The Act
Two months prior, my brother Dylan had introduced me to Asher. Dylan had been about to leave for his semester abroad.
“Asher’s my best friend,” Dylan had told me. Turning to Asher, he said, “I need you to take care of Cynthia for me while I’m gone.”
I bristled with annoyance. Dylan was so overprotective, he always treated me like a little kid. “Dylan, I’m an adult now. I can take care of myself.”
Dylan gave me a soft smile. “Maybe, but you’ll always be my little sister. You can’t blame me for worrying about you.”
“You don’t need to worry about me.”
Dylan opened his mouth to speak, but Asher cut him off.
“I will take care of her,” Asher said like a vow.
The tension in Dylan’s shoulders eased. “Good. That’s a relief. Thank you.”
Neither man seemed eager to listen to me. Asher had only barely glanced at me the whole time.
I’d heard of Asher even before meeting him. His cold, standoffish reputation preceded him. I had no idea how he and Dylan, always warm and smiling, came to be such good friends.
Regardless, I purposefully avoided Asher since that moment, and he’d seemed content to keep his own distance. But now, standing in his dorm room with his hand on my arm, I was snared in his attention.
Are you going to tell me what’s going on? He was still waiting for an answer. When I didn’t give one, his gaze narrowed.
“How long after Dylan left did you hook up with Joseph?” Asher asked. “It’s only been two months.”
I didn’t need my brother’s permission to date, and I certainly didn’t need to explain myself to Asher. “This has nothing to do with you.”
I attempted to rip my arm from his grasp, but he held firm. His hand was hot on my cool, damp skin.
“Joseph thinks he’s smooth,” Asher said. “He walks down this hallway to use the side stairwell up to his room. He avoids using the main stairwell, but none of us are fooled. Everyone in this building knows what he has going on.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Cynthia, I’ve seen him bring at least six girls up to his room in the past two months.”
The air punched from my lungs. No, that couldn’t be right. Joseph had a solid reputation as a popular, future Alpha. He was a center forward on the soccer team, and never missed a practice. He held doors open for women, and everyone said how much of a gentleman he was.
With me, he had always whispered soft sweet words in my ear when we were together. He’d complimented my looks, and my body, and sometimes he’d say how much he wanted to keep me wrapped up like a present just for him.
Until today, he’d returned all my messages, usually including lots of text hearts.
There was no way he could be doing the same with other woman.
“You don’t believe me,” Asher said, not a question.
“I have no reason to trust you.” I had to get away from Asher. I needed to see Joseph. “You clearly don’t approve. I bet you’d say anything to keep me away from him, but it won’t work!”
I tried again to break Asher’s hold. When he wouldn’t budge, I grabbed his wrist with my hand and twisted.
He didn’t even wince. Instead, his free hand pried my grip away.
“Let me go,” I demanded.
Asher’s jaw clenched, but he didn’t say anything. His touch wasn’t hard enough to bruise, but it was firm, like a shackle.
I met his glare with my own. “You can’t stop me from seeing Joseph. Tonight.”
“You want to see him so badly?” Asher growled. “Come with me.”
I planted my heels. I didn’t want to go anywhere with him.
When we reached Joseph’s door, I squirmed against Asher’s hold with renewed fury. Asher couldn’t be here for this.
“Let go of me!”
To my surprise, he complied, but only to reach in front of me and open Joseph’s door.
A dim table light illuminated the large space bright enough for me to see the tangled sheets of the bed – and the two figures entwined under them.
Joseph had his mouth against the neck of another woman. His hips pushed between her open thighs. Her face scrunched up in pleasure.
My stomach dropped to the floor. “Joseph?”
It couldn’t be him. It had to be some other guy who looked just like him, who had borrowed his room. Joseph wouldn’t do this to me.
The couple stilled. The girl, gasping, snatched at the sheet to hide her exposed breasts. Joseph rolled away from her and up onto his feet beside the bed. Grabbing the comforter, he wrapped it around his waist.
“Asher?” Joseph ran a hand over his face, wiping sweat from his brow. He laughed. “Now isn’t the best time. Did you need something?”
That was Joseph’s voice. His laugh. His face. His body, walking toward us. I couldn’t deny what I was seeing any longer.
“Joseph?” I whispered again, chest aching. There had to be some explanation for this.
Joseph’s hand dropped. He looked at me as if noticing me for the first time, and with that recognition, anger followed. His brow lowered.
“Cynthia? What are you doing here?” Glancing between me and Asher, his lip curled into an ugly snarl. “Are you checking up on me? Did you coax Asher to keep an eye on me?”
“N-No, I –”
He wouldn’t let me finish. “You didn’t have to bring him into this. If we had something to talk about, we could do it privately.”
“But there is something!” I said in a rush before he could cut me off again. I stepped into the room. “It’s really important, and we need to—”
“Get out,” Joseph snapped.
“But –”
“Now, Cynthia.” Starting forward, he roughly shoved my shoulders, pushing me backwards. “I’m so sick of clingy girls like you, watching me every second.”
My feet skidded across the floor tiles. I struggled to stay upright.
“Do you think you own me? You think you can tell me what I can and can’t do?” His sharp scowl tore into me.
“If you would listen –”
“You’ve gone too far this time. We’re done.”
“Joseph, please!”
“Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Don’t speak to me.”
My heels caught the doorframe, and I stumbled into Asher, who hadn’t moved an inch from where he’d been.
His hand caught my elbow as I righted myself against the wall of his body. When I was steady, his hand fell away so quickly I wondered if I had imagined it.
I turned back to Joseph. I started forward again, ready to fight to get him to listen. “I only want to—”
Joseph slammed the door in my face. If I had been one inch closer, it would have broken my nose.
I stood frozen for a moment, staring at the grain of the wooden door. Disbelief pulsed through my veins. I couldn’t move.
How could this have happened?
Asher crossed his arms over his chest. I faced him and found a pair of cold eyes staring back at me.
He’d led me here, knowing this would happen.
Embarrassment and hated curdled in my stomach. I felt I might be sick.
His face revealed no hint of emotion. No sympathy. No guilt. No shame.
He asked, voice flat, “Now do you believe me?”
Chapter 3 A Choice To Make
“Now you’ve seen what Joseph is with your own eyes,” Asher said. “Now you understand why you need to keep away from him.”
Slowly, my shock wore off. In its place, anger began to boil and churn.
“You’ll thank me someday,” Asher said.
“You want me to thank you?” I asked, breathless with disbelief.
“I vowed to take care of you,” he said. Looking away, he added softly, as if to himself, “Guess I make a pretty good baby-sitter, after all.” His voice held a hint of pride.
Baby-sitter?!
My anger boiled over, and I snapped, tone biting, “You’re worse than Dylan.”
Asher was more controlling and not nearly as kind.
“You are not my brother.” I stepped closer to him, right up against his chest.
He lifted one brow ever so slightly but didn’t otherwise move.
“What I do and what happens to me is none of your concern,” I said. I wanted to shout, but we were already drawing attention again. But with a sharp look from Asher, any onlookers quickly moved on.
Asher squared his shoulders. “I made a promise to Dylan. I don’t break my promises.”
He wouldn’t listen to me. He didn’t seem to care what I thought. It was all so frustrating!
I blinked back the tears from my eyes. I didn’t want him to see me cry.
“Maybe you planned this all along,” I said. “Maybe you wanted to see your little sister humiliated? Did you want to watch me get dumped? Are you enjoying this?”
“Cynthia.” There was something in his voice, but the emotion was so slight, I couldn’t read it. I was far too busy trying to keep myself from falling apart.
“I never asked you to do this,” I said.
Maybe Dylan had. But where was the consideration for my feelings?
Asher reached out for me, but I instantly shied away from his touch. Where would he drag me to next? I didn’t want to find out.
“Leave me alone, Asher,” I told him and sprinted away.
Regardless, as I rushed down the stairwell, I thanked every power in the universe that I had been able to keep my secret from Asher. He was so overbearing. I could only imagine what rules he would try to lord over me if he knew?
Outside, with the rain to hide my tears, I finally let them fall. The towel I held – Asher’s towel – soaked through.
In the safety of my dorm room, I tossed the towel and my wet clothes into a corner and changed into soft pajamas.
I cried softly but refused to let myself fully fall apart. Despite what I had seen and how my heart was breaking, I still needed to talk to Joseph about the pregnancy.
When he knew about the baby, maybe everything would change.
Joseph, I’m pregnant. I need to know what you think.
I waited. Double check marks appeared.
I waited longer, but he sent no response.
My thoughts returned to my family. I couldn’t talk to Mom, or my sister, or Dylan.
My cousin Nancy was a nurse at the maternity hospital. If anyone would know what to do, she would. And while we weren’t exactly best friends, we were close enough that I believed she might keep my secret.
“Cynthia?” Nancy’s kind voice came through the phone and I let out a broken, relieved breath. “Cynthia, what’s wrong?”
The weight of the secret had been swelling inside of me all day, and it bubbled out now, breaking the dam I’d built to hold it. I told Nancy everything about Joseph and the pregnancy.
I ended with, “Please, please don’t tell anyone. Don’t tell Mom.” Our family wouldn’t understand.
“I won’t,” Nancy promised. She knew as well as me how conservative our family was about pregnancy. If they knew I had gotten pregnant, they would never forgive me.
“And this guy… Joseph,” Nancy continued. “He’s a jerk. He’s not willing to step up.”
I wanted to argue but Nancy was right. He had seen my text. If he wanted any part of the pregnancy, wouldn’t he have reached out by now?
“Stop thinking about Joseph and decide what you want,” Nancy said. “You have options.”
My hands trembled around the phone. I didn’t know what I wanted. When I thought of the future I had dreamed for myself, having a baby so young didn’t really fit. Especially when I would have to raise it alone.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have it.” My voice was so small, I barely recognize myself.
Nancy’s tone was gentle. “It’s not uncommon for student mothers to choose abortion.”
The next morning, I sat in the waiting room of maternity hospital’s surgery wing, waiting for my number to be called.
If I didn’t have the baby, my life could more or less go back to the way things were before. I could throw myself entirely into dancing and cheerleading. I wouldn’t have to live under the heavy weight of uncertainty about what I would do with my life, or what Joseph might think.
Joseph had been so callous and cruel. His words continued to cut into me. I could almost hear them on repeat in my mind.
Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Don’t speak to me.
If I was so terrible that he never wanted to speak to me again, maybe I wasn’t good enough to have this baby.
Besides, if I did have this baby, I would lose absolutely everything.
My parents wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me. I’d be a black mark on the family. They’d undoubtedly refuse to continue paying my expensive school fees, and I’d have to drop out.
I couldn’t let that happen. I had to go through with the abortion.
I sunk into my chair, trying to clear my head. Thinking too much about it created cracks in my resolve, and I couldn’t allow any more doubt.
Suddenly, a door opened, and a woman accompanied by a nurse was led into the hallway. Tears streaked down the woman’s face. She held a tissue but didn’t use it. She moved slowly, as if in a trance.
The nurse guided her past the neonatal delivery room, and the woman nearly dropped to her knees. Her sobs were loud now, almost like howls. The nurse called for others to come help. One offered the woman a sedative.
Nancy had warned me of this. During our phone conversation, she’d carefully asked if I had felt bonded to the baby.
“If the wolf within the mother has already begun to feel an attachment, the procedure can be dangerous,” Nancy had explained. “It can be difficult for the wolf to understand.”
The woman accepted the sedative. The nurses helped her into a wheelchair and rolled her further down the hall.
I rubbed my hand over my belly. My stomach remained mostly flat yet, but I noticed now that some of my weight sat differently than before. It almost seemed like I ate too much, but I knew the truth. I was starting to show.
A baby was in there. I could almost… feel them.
A small warmth blossomed in my chest.
A baby. My baby.
A nurse at the check-in counter called a number. I looked at the slip in my hand.
The number was mine.
أُوكَازيُون
أُوكَازيُون
أُوكَازيُون
أُوكَازيُون
